Men’s rules for women

I saw the following list of men’s advice to women on my friend Keiko’s facebook page.  It is very accurate from my personal experiences and I feel compelled to share this with everyone!  It is also told from the male perspective.

• Men are NOT mind readers.
• Learn to work the toilet seat. – You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
• Crying is blackmail.
• Ask for what you want.  Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!  Just say it!
• Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
• Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
• Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
• If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.
• If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
• You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done.  Not both.
• If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
• We do not ask for directions.
• If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.
• If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing, we will act like nothing’s wrong.  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
• If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
• When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.
• Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports
• You have enough clothes.
• You have too many shoes.

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